Old Sex Toy Review- Vibrating Cock Ring

Soft Touch AROUSER w/ Mini Torpedo, Swedish Erotica:

Vibrating cock rings sound like a great idea. For those of you jr. achievers who don’t know what a cock ring is, it is a RING that goes around the base of your COCK, or the cock and balls to make you harder, for longer, more sensitive to stand the test of time so that your dick doesn’t become the limp piece of crap you try to pass off on drunk sorority girls that you normally con into sleeping with you. Men use them while masturbating because the constriction increases sensitivity, and this one is cushy and thick and soft enough so it could be used as a cock sleeve/pocket pussy/masturbator for men tired of doing “the stranger”.

The beauty of vibrating cock rings, is that it also does something for the woman (clit) or the receiving man (prostate) to make up for what you aren’t able to do for each other. When vibrating cock rings have a removable vibrating bullet, egg, or “torpedo” like this one does, it’s also a fantastic clit and anal stimulator to get the juices flowing or finish yourself off with when the dick you’re trying to fuck has passed out for the evening.

But, As far as cock rings go, the soft touch arouser is pure fluff. The cock ring itself is annoyingly fleshy and only semi-morphous, and I found it to be a nuisance to both his cock and my cunt. It uses that fake flesh feeling stuff which is normally great, but since it has nothing harder in it to take shape you end up with this limp piece of fat dangling around your dick and doing little else than mildly bumping into my cunt. If you happen upon this, massively discounted (the only reason *ever* to buy this product) I suggest you throw the cock ring bit away or divine some creative non cock ring use, like bringing out the lube and kicking your F*buddy out for a night of free internet porn. Ability to apply pressure or resistance while maintaining flexibility is #1 priority for the clitoris in couple’s toys, and as far as cock rings are concerned if you can’t feel it squeeze it aint workin’. This cock ring is more likely to read you bed time stories than it is to get you off. This item wins 1 1/2 Wet Cunts and 1 1/2 Hard Cocks, because when used solely for its mini remote control “torpedo”, with variable speeds it never failed to get him or me off.

My conclusion: Vibrating cock rings fucking rule, but this one is LAME! Save yourself the frustration and buy a remote or cordless bullet/egg and save $20 with my lesson well learned. This item retails $30-35 and can be found at your neighborhood Adult Mart (where I happened upon it). This and other couple’s vibrators, bullets and eggs, can be found online distributed by California Exotics.

TIP OF THE MONTH

If you’ve been naughty, and you think that you may have contracted one of the many strains of HPV, commonly referred to as Genital warts, here is an easy, painless and kitchen-witchy way you can tell if g-o-d is punishing you for being the wanton slut you are. When looking for warts or other abnormal tissue, the first test nurses perform to test for the presence of a wart is to apply acetic acid (vinegar) directly to the area. Vinegar causes warts to turn white, especially if magnified. The wart will turn bright white, impossible to miss, so if you find yourself guessing at it, you’re likely in the clear.

~ by Klawdya Rothschild on November 9, 2008.

2 Responses to “Old Sex Toy Review- Vibrating Cock Ring”

  1. As an alternative that is worth trying, what would you suggest instead?

  2. Hiyas. are you asking for other sex toys, vibes, couples toys or specifically for cock rings?

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