Adultery- The Red Badge of Courage?
Believe it or not, some people MOST people still engage in traditional/antiquated marriage. I am here defining traditional/antiquated marriage as Hetero, Monogamous, Legally bound, Cohabiting, potentially procreative couples. And however we may feel about marriage and the need for equal marriage rights, this is still, like it or not the most common form of marriage and also how the majority of “us”, meaning people not volk, end up.
So what does this mean for our sexual culture?
I was having a conversation with a good, old friend and sometimes lover of mine earlier today and he said something that has been ringing in my ears ever since. We were on the topic of how I believe the internet to be an opposing parallel to life, especially when it concerns fetish and desire. Private desires and wishes one may never intend to live out, or may even prefer to not live out thrive and dominate the internet and sexual desire. My classic example for this is:
Google the term “Married Men Porn”. My top hits are: Why do men look at Porn? Is it Ok if married men look at porn? Naked Married Women etc
Now google the term “Married Women Porn”. My top hits are: Older and Mature Porn. Naked Married Women. Amateur married women and girlfriends etc
Think about this for a second. On the internet we covet the married woman, who here in a debauched universe of endless sexual possibilities she is what we can not, or rather should not have. However in real life, our slightly less debauched, less permissive, judgemental real world she is had already. In the sense of explored territory. We still have a taboo of no-go for married women, pregnant women and mothers…however MILF, Married, and Cuckolding exists in the underbelly of the world- the internet.
On the flip side, married men get ass on the side all the time. In fact, slip on a wedding ring bachelors and see what kind of attention it gets you. Its the hetero-normative cocksure guarantee to NSA, casual, or come easy sex and you dont even have to buy hair gel or a tight shirt 😉 But ladies, if you try this yourself, be forwarned that most men wont touch you, and those that do you need a hazmat suit to go near.
And then he, aforementioned FWB, said it. Oh yeah. Girls are fucking proud of that shit. I was talking to my one friend the other day about this. She’s so used to the hump ad dump routine, and now she is onto her #2 married guy. He buys her nice things, he sees her when he is in town on business, and she doesnt have to deal with all that annoying cuddling and other awkward crap the other people expect from her. Its great.
Are we proud of it ladies? I cant really tell, my opinion constantly fluctuates.
Oh yeah, and there is one thing I forgot to tell you. He, himself, is married- legally hetero monog co-hab…and did I mention we got even more sexual *after* the marriage? And that I only see him when he is in town on business?
I wanted to respond “Hey Green Eyes, where’s all my nice shit, a-hole. You stiffin me ?” But of course I just laughed silently and took it all in, bc he was, no doubt, describing some other mistress of his in his own idealized accounting of the situation… but what are you going to do?
In this case, Ive been in love with this person for over a decade and nothing is going to change that. But I sure as hell got drunk as a skunk as much on my own tears as the tequila the night he announced his engagement. No merit badge there. But I do get a certain sense of glee knowing that even though it may be complicated for him, he still seeks me out….and here is the seedling for that pride, that lust, that urge for the forbidden perhaps.
My last “serious” relationship was actually with a married man. And at first I liked it. A clandestine affair while his wife was out of the country, which snowballed into a star-crossed love scenario, where we were destined to be together but destined to be kept apart-woe woe woe *imagine a hand stapled to a forehead here* And then things like leaving his wife, and the disclosure that she was in fact pregnant got revealed to me and I could feel myself slipping slipping and slipping out of control, and out of my own interest in the situation. Can you ever sustain that feeling of freedom and exhilaration that comes from something that is so spectacular but is doomed to not work out?
With me Im not sure its really the forbidden aspect of adultery that appeals to me. And it certainly is not the desire to somehow be caught. It annoys me to hide or alter my behaviour bc of someone else’s choices. And consequently I dont believe other people’s choices affect me, so I dont really feel guilty that I am participating in an affair (except where children are affected, and then you spoil all my fun bc the guilt DOES enter the equation).
I think more than anything, adultery somehow makes me feel irresistable. Despite your love for your wife, or the harm it may cause you HAVE TO HAVE me. I want to feel you burn for me, I want to feel it bubble under your skin when I touch you, look at you, or touch me 🙂 I want you to make me thr priority over your family, your job, your other interests for a day, a week, whatever. This is what I live off of.
Dont tell me you will leave your wife, dont tell me that you want to. Dont make this anything more than what it is, but let me know you cant live without me all the same….or that you know a super nova that burns out is still hotter than fuck while it burns.
live dangerously, but smart and honestly…at least with me. Im your whore confessor, and if you cant be straight up with me, there really is no hope for you.
Klawdya Rothschild's Vortex 
Oh, I used to be you. Got involved with a married man who told me the first night he slept with me, “It’ll never be more than this.” I was fine with that for awhile. But lo and behold, a year and a half later, he left the wife and started living with me. Two and a half years after that, we were married. Five months after that, I caught him with another woman… If I would have just believed him from the beginning and stayed true to myself and never let it be more than it was at the start, I wouldn’t be in the middle of a nasty divorce now…
All i know is its a slippery slope i would wish never to get on again casue although exciting it gets dangerous ,,,especially if the otehr guy walks on an ya and he has a baseball bat or pistol. Its not for teh faint of heart. Plus im sortof old fashioned and never want to be branded with the rank of “homewrecker”, i came dangerously close 2 times in my lifetime though and actually without even realizing it. Alot of people though these days say ” fuck my reputation i dont care” but if your ina tight knit community it can be damning and make you loose your job sometiems and your freinds , and good friends are hard to come by.