Handout: Bondage for the Differently-Abled


Different Kinds of “Injuries” and “Disabilities”

– Temporary and Permanent

– Since Birth and Onset

– The same everyday no matter what: e.g. paralyzed below Xth vertebra etc.

– Change daily: e.g. thyroid levels, medication reliant, sleep disorders, unknown factors etc.

***The thing that remains constant regardless of the type of “disability” or “injury” is that it has an impact on your mood and state of mind, and your mood/state of mind has a major impact on your ability to do otherwise ‘simple tasks’ and previously possible activities.***

Reciprocal Nature of Mood and Physical Conditioning

– Exercising and Stretching daily = feeling better.

-The same is true of eating well = feeling better physically, mentally, and emotionally.

– Hydrating and sleeping well are as important for self-care as they are for bondage.

– Take time to ground yourself several times a day. Get in touch with how you feel in that moment.  Take an HONEST INVENTORY of your physical, mental, AND emotional state before beginning a training session (kinky or otherwise), bondage scene, or even a negotiation.

-Some refer to HALT: Hungry Angry Lonely Tired, because those are things we are used to feeling and ignoring daily, but they actually impact us more than we realize.

– Try not to get down on yourself for what you can/can’t do one day to the next.

– DO NOT accept other people’s negative attitudes– you have enough to deal with and work through without adding their hang-up(s) to your burden(s).

Stretching For Bondage

– Good for everyone, anytime.

– A great way to start a scene, to build up energy, or to wind down and begin aftercare.

(See separate handout for techniques and information: Stretching Hand out)

Focus on Strong Areas First

– If you have a known injury, weakness, or impairment don’t go for it first, go for areas with less complications and work up from there.

– Incorporate other devices and materials into your bondage- Bottoms may want to wear clothing, braces etc under their bondage for support— imagine the immobilization braces can add to rope, or how fun it could be to use crutches instead of bamboo!

– Incorporate other devices and materials into your bondage- Tops may want to use cuffs, or cuff ties (Bola-Bola) for better weight/pressure distribution, for dynamic bondage, and quicker releases that don’t undo all the rigging when one limb needs to be undone or adjusted.

Research and Discuss

– All participants should seek to inform themselves as much as possible about the nature of the “injury” or “disability”.  This may mean looking up the nature of the condition prior and/or separately and then discussing, or talking about it openly together as a part of the negotiation.

– NOTE, for certain conditions, such as paralysis, but even some like diabetes, typical forms of physical feedback such as pinching, numbness etc. may not be possible…however, just because somatosensory (touch sense) isn’t sensitive does not mean that damage is not being done.

-Tops tying the differently-abled: it is your responsibility to discuss and inform yourself as much as it is the bottom’s responsibility to disclose and inform you to the best of their ability.  Being on top means providing for their safety, ask questions and get the answers.

-Tops who are differently-abled: I believe that it is your responsibility to disclose your medical information to your bottom just as you would expect that they do so for you.  Much of bondage is another person trusting you with their physical safety, and with some suspensions, perhaps their life.  Informed consent means that participants are aware of ALL risks involved.

-Bottoms who are differently-abled: be prepared to discuss your condition with the person you wish to play with, and be aware that they may not have any prior knowledge of or experience with your condition, let alone tying you up.  Don’ leave out details, and don’t try to shoot the moon.  When playing with new people, or new situations (such as at conferences where little sleep and lots of travel are involved) go easy, and start slow.

Bottoms being tied by the differently-abled: listen carefully to what they have to say with an open mind. Remember that having an “injury” or a “disability” does not disqualify someone from being an excellent top or bondage rigger, but that they may do things differently than other tops you have played with before, and/or they may try to work with you to establish a collaborative working dynamic that is new for you.  While this is certainly not always the case, information here is a good thing, and if nothing else take it as a sign that you can trust them to be honest with you upfront, and not surprise to you later.

The Toybag

Other than your typical Rope, Rings, Shears, Clips, Gags, Whips, Safer Sex Supplies and Vibes, you may want to add a few other things to your toybags when dealing with stressed systems:

– Granola, Trail Mix or your favorite protein bar (the idea here being to avoid processed sugars).

– Water, Juice, or my favorite, Coconut water (less sugar, more electrolytes, + potassium).

– Medication, so it’s on hand and all involved know where it is in a pinch.

– I.C.E. fact sheet: allergies, contact numbers, medications lists, and maybe even insurance info.

– Personal Stress Relievers, we all have them, and if you have a flare up you may want them.

– Cell phone and CHARGER, because when phones die it’s harder to reach the people you need.

– Music, hey it can’t hurt, and in fact studies have shown music to be therapeutic, so why not.

– And, perhaps most importantly, a positive, sexy, possibly orgasmic, attitude. Yay.

~ by Klawdya Rothschild on May 27, 2010.

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